Marriage Counsellor Guide: 10 Practical ways to build trust in married life

For some people, marriage is a precious and sometimes even sacrosanct commitment in their life. But, for some others, it is not so. Whatever you subscribe to, once you have decided to get married, it is always desirable to consider the decision from multiple perspectives and commit firmly to developing a trusting and faithful relationship. Remember always that marriage is never a one-way traffic. It is a long journey of sharing and caring for each other, raising a family perhaps, and being proud of a perpetual bondage. Marriage is not connecting two bodies; it is the unification of two hearts. Physical intimacy is merely a small fraction of a successful married life.

Trust deficit in a marital relationship can be cancerous and potentially shake the very foundation on which the relationship is built. The following are among practical ways that marriage counselling can find to help you build trust with married couple

1. Marriage between one who loves you and you love deeply

Some people fail to see the fine line that divides infatuation and true love. Infatuation can wane away in a short space of time. On the other hand, true love goes deeper into the heart and is not guided by the physical appearance or money. The physical attributes of any individual will change or even diminish as the years roll down. Think of a flower at sunrise and what happens to the flower at sunset. When this perspective is applied to the most important choice in your life, the potential for any cracks developing anytime during the long journey is eliminated or minimised.

2. There are no secrets between a husband and wife

The first step to building a healthy marital life is TRUST. Trust each other to the hilt and never allow any secrets to stare on your face one day. A single secret hidden from your spouse can potentially balloon into the biggest hurdle in your marital relationship. Remember that this applies to both partners in equal measure.

3. Let there be TRUST unlimited

At every possible curve, let your spouse know that you trust him/her without any limitations or reservations. You don’t need to fall head over heels but can always let it be known through a liberal show of affection. Love at heart should not be silent, and it should be expressed so that the other person can bask in experiencing your love. Expression of love can be through pretty simple means of presenting a rose or cooking dinner while your wife is watching her favourite. Never lose an opportunity to have the hand and eye contact because every moment counts in that act.

4. Dangers of mixed signals

Trust is a vital element that helps marriages thrive. The trust holds the same value in nurturing any relationship. Your partner should know everything with sufficient clarity. Mixed signals can create confusion and lead to germination of unwanted doubts. When a partner says something, it is incumbent that he/she does the same thing. Complete trust is not an option but an essential component of building and sustaining a healthy married life. The exercise of building trust starts with your dating/courtship days and should be an ongoing process.

5. Slipped and need to rebuild

It is always desirable not to have any occasion that can shake among the married couple. But events do happen, and there are times when trust deficit surfaces. When such an event happens, the first thing to do is believe in yourself that you can win back the trust of your partner. It can be restored when you have the urge to do so and are willing to put in efforts necessary to achieve the goal. In some instances, it could take a couple of years to put things back on the rail. But, you should persist with your efforts. Make sure that every single effort that you make in this direction is laced with honesty.

6. Honesty pays

Lying to your partner and later when she/he confronts you with the truth can potentially ruin your married life. The situation may be dicey, but being honest in the first instance will give you the leverage and leg room to broker peace. Never meditate on who should make the first move. Communicate efficiently and emphasise that you should be honest with each other, going forward. Complete honesty should be established right at the start of the marriage and continue till the very last.

7. Communication

Clear and effective communication is another key aspect of building strong and sustainable marital relationships. Just as every day is not a Monday, slippages do occur across life. These slippages can relate to personal finances, a suspected fledging, work related issues, or sheer suspicion. Open communication without allowing those negative elements to overpower your relationship and drive to towards a total wreck can save several marriages. You must believe in yourself and believe that every problem has a solution and that focused effort will lead you to the solution.

8. Building trust is not an overnight process

Building trust between husband and wife is an ongoing process. It does not happen in one night. Physical intimacy is one of the biggest gifts from marriage. Knowing someone from his/her depths, being accepted and loved without boundaries for what one is truly a breathtaking experience. Without trust, this blissful experience can lose all its sheen and turn into a mere biological act. With absolute trust, the experience of physical intimacy can be raised to heights of glory.

9. No one is perfect

Finally, there is no one on this earth, who can claim to be perfect. Realising this and inculcating the habit of forgiving and forgetting can go a long way in building up trust and strengthening the relationship.

10. Learn from successful couple

There is no dearth of a successful couple around you. You can always find someone trustworthy and one who will hold your hand and pull you out of a difficult situation. This could be one of your best friends or elders in the family. Sharing your intimate feelings helps in relieving stress and finding the right solution.
Enjoy your married life happily forever!

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